Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
