who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
