I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
