I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You ruined the universe
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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