Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize