I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
