As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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