she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
