Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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