1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
