So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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