All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
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dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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