Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
