I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
