Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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