I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
