How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
