Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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