You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
