Ambien. No doubt about it.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
