I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
