Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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