Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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