you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
