She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
