I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
