just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
