Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
