He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
