doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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