he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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