Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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