I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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