weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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