Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
