this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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