We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Randomize
