I smell stomach acid.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
