u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
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i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
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He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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