Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?

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(215): how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon? http://tfl.nu/98up

Replies (20) Good night (6786) Bad night (651)
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(386): View more from Florida

tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN

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(386): tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN http://tfl.nu/xbeq

Replies (26) Good night (656) Bad night (3098)
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(408): View more from California

every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.

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(408): every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better. http://tfl.nu/nucz

Replies (10) Good night (3022) Bad night (943)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.

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(419): I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf. http://tfl.nu/4l78

Replies (41) Good night (1799) Bad night (9568)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.

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(608): Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again. http://tfl.nu/9jrz

Replies (18) Good night (7453) Bad night (1219)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.

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(908): Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic. http://tfl.nu/hh2b

Replies (33) Good night (4121) Bad night (5207)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.

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(732): i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is. http://tfl.nu/s7zh

Replies (16) Good night (4971) Bad night (1648)
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(757): View more from Virginia

It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.

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(757): It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it. http://tfl.nu/6y9b

Replies (36) Good night (5818) Bad night (1237)
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(+61): View more from Australia

He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?

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(+61): He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday? http://tfl.nu/aaeg

Replies (5) Good night (2018) Bad night (1258)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions

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(609): Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles? (1-609): In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions http://tfl.nu/67pw

Replies (2) Good night (1889) Bad night (578)
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(256): View more from Alabama

i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?

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(256): i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime? http://tfl.nu/inlq

Replies (12) Good night (2262) Bad night (740)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.

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(203): You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you. http://tfl.nu/720l

Replies (9) Good night (1457) Bad night (929)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Stop touching yourself.

(262): View more from Wisconsin

Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???

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(608): Stop touching yourself. (262): Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera??? http://tfl.nu/6vj4

Replies (11) Good night (1132) Bad night (451)
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(530): View more from California

Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.

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(530): Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery. http://tfl.nu/qyfd

Replies (2) Good night (401) Bad night (646)
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(571): View more from Virginia

We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick

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(571): We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick http://tfl.nu/pb28

Replies (2) Good night (465) Bad night (197)

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