in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please