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• (815): View more from Illinois

  He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?

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• (206): View more from Washington

  weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.

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• (+25): View more from

  We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.

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• (805): View more from California

  Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Everything hurts.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.

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• (707): View more from California

  You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?

  (770): View more from Georgia

  All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad

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• (212): View more from New York

  I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.

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• (631): View more from New York

  I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma

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