My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️