just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.