So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
