would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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