I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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