If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
