Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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