then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I need water and some morals
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