I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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