Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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