dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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