She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Randomize
