can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
