So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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