it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
