Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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