arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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