Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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