I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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