I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize