maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
