Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
