if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
