so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
