i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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