What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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