Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
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I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
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Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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